well here we go

So tomorrow I ship my Volvo to Alabama. This marks one of the things I never looked forward to doing. I knew once my car was shipped I wouldn't be waking up from a nightmare or a coma, it would mean this is for real. For me I am still in shock that this is actually happening to my family. Never ever did I think my family would be broken into. I pray my kids will learn from this hell and not following in our footsteps when it comes to marriage and divorce. Divorce is the most selfish thing you can do to your children when in reality our home was happy. There was no abuse, or fighting that a normal family would endure before a divorce. This was all so sudden and it just makes me so sick. For 3 months I have had to live with a man that cannot be faithful to me and doesn't love me. Everyday I got up made his breakfast, washed his clothes and had dinner on the table when he got home from work. Most days there was laughter and just being a normal family with a big elephant in the corner of the room reminding me that this temporary until we leave...forever. One thing this situation has taught me is  grace. If I didn't have grace and the ability to forgive I wouldn't have been able to do all the things I have done for him these last few months. I have always been a person to think of others first and myself last. Now I am going to have to learn to put myself first every once in a while to find myself and happiness. I use to think that being with him and us having a great marriage would bring me happiness. That is definitely not the case. So now I have to start over. I have to get a job and learn to live without what I thought was my soul mate and partner in raising our kids. If anyone is reading this I hope you will learn from what I am going through. Communicate with your spouse, take time to go on dates and truly connect with them. Make sure that they just don't talk about themselves and then you never get to say a word about your dreams. If you don't get a chance to talk then they will never know what you want and who you really are. Get to know your spouse everyday but make sure they know you too. I was the type of wife that everything I did revolved around him. I only wanted what was best for him and his career, putting him first in everything. See where it got me?No education no career, divorce, sadness and not being loved by the one you love so deeply. So ladies or men out there take time for yourself and your family, those dishes don't have to be done right when dinner is over and that dust on the end tables will be there tomorrow. Take time to enjoy life with your family because you never know when it will be taken from you.

On a side note: after shipping the car we have to have TMO come and pack our things then it's getting on the plane and starting a new adventure in life as the 3 of us. We still don't have dates for those events but soon we will.